I am constantly being asked for advice. Constantly.
Being asked for advice, giving unsolicited advice … Po-tay-toh, po-tah-toh.
So I have decided to start a weekly irregular Dear Mary column.
Today’s question comes from alert reader Mary (no relation) in Iowa. She writes:
Dear Mary (no relation);
I feel so harried during the Christmas season. Do you have any advice for how I can prioritize and get the most important items, such as making my famous fruitcakes, done?
Mary Too Fruity in Iowa.
Dear Mary Too Fruity in Iowa (no relation);
Have you ever come to the right place for help! I have scoured my recipe library and found a wonderful, easy, lovely fruitcake that you will not be ashamed to present to your guests! And the good news is that you still have plenty of time to make it! (If you start this evening or 4:30 AM tomorrow at the latest.)
First, you will need to make your candied orange shells. This must be done tonight! I recommend not watching Desperate Housewives. And you probably shouldn’t waste any time tucking the kids into bed. You need to get cracking, woman!
The rest of it can wait until a week before Christmas. But you must make your candied orange shells tonight. Trust me, it will be worth it when you present your guests with these lovely fruitcakes in a candied orange shell and tied with a string on top! I mean the string is held in place with a clove! You cannot beat that!
*Note. Do not make canding orange shells on a humid day. Not unless you want a fruitcake disaster.
I’m so glad I could be of service. Enjoy Christmas!
Love,
Mary (no relation)
P.S. Don’t do a Google Image search for “fruitcake”.
That is very very funny. I kept thinking: why do I want to candy the outside of the orange? It’s covered in “edible” resin or wax. Ewwwwwww.
I’m sorry to hear you’re irregular. Hope everything gets moving soon.
Hahahaah! So now I know why my candied orange shells fell apart on that 95 degree, 100% humidity day back in August…And here I thought I was being proactive.
I once went to fruitcakes.com thinking it might be related to the Jimmy Buffet song “Fruitcakes”. It wasn’t. I was also on my school laptop (at home) so I’m sure that raised all kinds of red flags. I never heard anything about it though.
Funny you should say that, Abbie … I had considered putting that in to see what came up when I was writing this. But then I thought better of it. lol.