What we have here is something that I would highly recommend that you not make as a Christmas gift. That is, unless you think you can do a better job than me. Which, given the enormity of this fail, is not entirely out of the realm of possibility.
I like to call it The Best Little Birdie Bordello In The Midwest! Because, really, that’s what it is.
The thing was so hideous that I took 2,483 pictures of it and not a single one came out in focus!
I really wish I could blame this one on Martha, but I can’t. I was inspired by Amy at Mod Podge Rocks
. And, while I was inspired by her, I would like to be very clear. Her bird houses are gorgeous.
I don’t know what sent this over the line from “small mistake that can be fixed with another coat of paint” to “oh my gosh! wrap that thing in triple ply plastic bags before you throw it away!” but it happened somewhere between failing to sand the Dollar Tree birdhouse before painting it and failing to allow the Mod Podge and paint to dry thoroughly before applying the beautiful glitter.
I put it on my deck but no birds would visit it during the day. And at night they looked suspicious as if they were just waiting for the bird police to make a bust on it. Seriously. Little sparrows would go up to the bluejays, grind out their little birdie cigarettes on the deck, and ask, “You a cop?”
Oh for heaven’s sake. I was just proofreading this post and I realized that thing at the top is a steeple! Oh my gosh, that makes it even worse. Some little innocent hummingbird is going to take her little hummingbird children to what she thinks is just a tacky church …