I am now the proud owner of the most asinine book ever written. And I do mean the most. Ever.
It is called “Kitchen Playdates” by Lauren Bank Deen and is described as “Easy ideas for entertaining that includes the kids.” I was expecting ideas along the lines of, “Put an avocado in a Ziploc and let your kid smoosh it up to help make guacamole.” Or, “Fill a wading pool with cooked spaghetti and let the fun begin!” Or, “Use a cookie cutter to make fun shaped PB&J sandwiches.” That’s what I was expecting.
Instead I got grand ideas for kids’ playdates like: grilled lobsters with garlic butter, edamame dip, brussels sprouts with bacon and cream … Seriously? Brussels sprouts with bacon and cream?! That will make your kid the hit of the school. That’s what this woman considers reasonable playdate fare?
“Let’s go to Tommy’s house! His mom makes the best broccoli rabe and brussels sprouts with bacon and cream! Yay!”
I think my favorite is “Parchment-Baked Halibut with Shiitakes, Lemon, and Herbs.” Would you like to know how your kid could help with that? They can “do almost all the work. Older kids should be supervised if cutting the lemons.” (I guess the younger kids don’t need supervision while cutting the lemons.)
What I don’t understand is that this book got four stars on Amazon. Surely I cannot be the only mother in America who thinks that Asian Radicchio Slaw is inappropriate for a playdate … Surely I cannot be that much of an underachiever!
For Pete’s sakes, who invites the kids over for Curried Roasted Cauliflower?!
In case you are wondering, no, I am not making any of this up. My imagination is not that fertile.
I’m trying to figure out what the heck to do with this book. I could put it on my Bookmooch site, but I’d really hate to inflict this nonsense on another poor unsuspecting mother. I’m tempted to leave it on my bookshelf for those days when I need a good laugh. Or to give me and my other mother friends something to laugh about.
I suppose we could always try out some of the recipes at our next playdate … because every kid loves Sesame Orzo With Dried Apricots, Currants, and Slivered Almonds. Really. They do. I wouldn’t make that up.
My mom thinks I should write about her. Ummmm … Well, I can honestly say that my dear mother never served lobster with garlic butter at any of my playdates. Although she did make chili for my entire Girl Scout troop once. And she threw a mean tea party.
P.S. What is broccoli rabe anyway? I tried to look for clues in the recipe, but one of the ingredients is broccoli rabe.