A Vintage Christmas Menu.

I like to make Christmas special with fancy punch and appetizers.  To that end, when I was planning this year’s menu, I turned to my 1967 Good Housekeeping Complete Christmas Cookbook.  As always, I found plenty of ideas.  Not anything I would actually make, of course.  Or even eat, for that matter.

But it’s fun to imagine a punch where the garnish is made from garbage.  At least I hope that’s the garnish and not just the ingredients trying to escape.

 But the best recipe in the book has to be the Molded – Pate Cheese Balls.  (Number 1 in the picture below.)

It is, I am not making this up, made up of gelatin, cream cheese, beef consomme, and liver pate.  Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like liver Jello!  That’s my motto.  And the orange garnish around the bottom of the plate totally brings the presentation home!

Number 2 in the picture (official name: Nibblers Crisp) has a long list of ingredients and instructions, which can be summarized thusly: take a bunch of raw vegetables, put them in a Jello mold, add water until full, and then freeze.  It’s basically a big giant ball of vegetable ice.  I imagine guests standing at the buffet line with ranch dressing and an ice pick, “Dang it!  All I want is a frozen cucumber, but they keep breaking everytime I try to pull them off the ice!  CHRISTMAS IS RUINED!”

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What’s For Dinner, Mommy?

Let me walk you through a typical evening at my house.

Kid:  What’s for dinner, Mommy?

Me:  Hmmm … How about lima beans and bologna?  I know it’s your favorite!

Kid:  Yay!  There’s nothing that can’t be improved by adding lima beans!

Me:  You’ve been really good today.  I think I’ll put some pineapple on top as an extra special treat!

Kid:  Yay!  You totally rock, Mommy!

Okay, well maybe it doesn’t happen exactly that way … but it might!

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Can Meatloaf Have ADD? Why, yes. Yes it can.

I got a Good Housekeeping magazine from January 1966 because, quite honestly, I love them.  It’s a good thing they are cheap (when you can find them).

I also love to try new recipes out of vintage magazines.  Recipes like … say … Golden Fruited Meat Loaf.

No, it isn’t staring at you.  Those are actually prunes.  Here, I’ll show you.

I use the phrase “meat loaf” in the strictest terms.  It is made of both veal and pork.  Why do I call it the ADD Meat Loaf though?  Because it also has sweet potatoes, prunes, green beans, and almonds.  I can imagine serving this to my family, “Mooooooom, my dinner is staring at me!  I’m scared!”  And my husband yelling, “Don’t stomp on it, it isn’t a giant insect.  It just looks like one.”

Nothing says gourmet, though, like curled up hot dogs served with bow tie pasta.  Especially if you call it a Saucy Frank Dinner.

Aaaaaand … a close up.

Remember, nothing says you love your family like serving them a gourmet meal!  And nothing screams gourmet like curled up hot dogs sprinkled with parsley.

(Okay, I am not making this up.  I was just proofreading this and Meat Galore comes in and says, “Are you gonna make that hot dog thing?  It looks really good.”)

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