These days, it seems that nearly everyone is on some sort of diet or other. If I go to lunch with friend A, we can’t get Mexican food – too much fat. If I go with friend B, we can’t get Panera Bread – too many carbs. Blah blah blah.
Don’t worry. I am here to tell you there are some new diet rules in town.
First of all, who says pizza isn’t diet food? True, a nice hot steamy pizza will pack the pounds on. BUUUUUT, if you put the pizza in your fridge overnight and it eat cold while you are standing up the next morning, then it has no calories. It’s some sort of quantum mechanics theory, don’t ask me to explain it.
Now we all know that carbs are bad for you. But who needs carbs when you have bacon? If you put your bacon between two thick slices of cheddar cheese instead of bread, voila! Instant healthful sandwich! Feel like you need some vegetables? Stick a slab of tomato between the cheese and the bacon.
According to one of my co-workers, Snickers now has a dark chocolate variety! That means it’s a heart healthy food because we all know that dark chocolate is good for the heart. Don’t care for dark chocolate? Then opt for the milk chocolate variety. Milk chocolate Snickers bars have it all – dairy, legumes, vegetables. After all, what is high fructose corn syrup if not a vegetable?
According to all the Kellogg’s and Quaker Oats commercials, Americans need to eat more whole grains. Now, it seems to me that hops and barley would constitute whole grains. What food has both of those wonderful whole grains? That’s right – BEER! The super food!
If you still feel a little light on your veggies, then you can always pop some popcorn. Be sure to add melted butter for that extra calcium boost.
There you have it, simple ways to eat better and lose weight. Buen provecho!