One day, on my way to work, I drove by a new billboard. After I passed it, I thought to myself, “Self, was that an old man wearing wings?” So the next day, I paid closer attention. That day, I asked myself, “Mary [I like to shake it up sometimes], is that an advertisement for a terrorist organization?” The next day, I vowed to remember the website on the billboard long enough to get to a computer and check it out. When I did, I discovered that it was in Spanish. I like to think I am moderately fluent in Spanish, so I did what any other white girl with 2 years of midwest high school Spanish under her belt would do. I looked at the pictures. From the pictures, I deduced that it was an emergency preparedness site put out by the US Homeland Security Department. But I never saw any pictures about what to do in a terrorist attack, so I could never reconcile “Terrorismo” to the old guy with the wings.
Today, after weeks of quandary, I finally remembered to snap a picture and have my friend translate it for me. (Usually I have to translate Spanish into English for her, but I thought she might need the extra practice.)
According to my friend, this billboard translates to, “Terrorism? The help is not going to fall from the sky.” Personally, I was less confused before she translated it. What the heck does that mean? And I still don’t understand the wings. Is this guy supposed to have been a victim of terrorism? Or is he supposed to be the non-existent magical help from the sky? Cause I have to say, he looks rather too scared to be much help in case of an attack.
Of course, it sure makes the sign that shares the billboard with him a lot funnier!
I used to think that the old guy had the same expression on his face as the egg. But now I believe the old guy is thinking, “Crap. I’ve been looking to the sky for help with random acts of terrorism and all of a sudden a giant egg thinking about egg cannibalism comes flying at me. I didn’t even know chickens could fly!” Or maybe he’s thinking, “I sure could go for an Egg McMuffin right now.” It’s hard to say.
He looks a little terrified of the giant cannibal egg. I can’t say as I blame him much; the egg is bigger than his head. Maybe he’s worried that because he has wings now he is actually a chicken and the egg might be his offspring.
I guess there are some things better left as a mystery. I’m going to leave the connection between “Terrorismo” and “I’m lovin’ it” alone for now.