I believe that I have happened upon a law of nature that Sir Isaac Newton seems to have overlooked. I call it Newton’s 4th Law. And it’s the best law ever! Newton’s 4th Law will forever get you out of housework. The basic premise is that the mess in your home has to eventually reach critical mass. You only own so much stuff and it will eventually all be out on the floor, piled on countertops, stashed behind the couch, etc. It’s a naturally occurring limited reagent. Therefore, once you reach that so-called critical mass, you know that it can’t get worse therefore, there is really no reason to worry about it. Newton’s 4th Law, just like his 1st through 3rd, will set you free!
The only glitch is that you will eventually run out of dishes. And underwear. But I have that figured out too. You can use paper plates (I don’t think that throwing out paper plates counts as housework); and eat Cup O’ Noodles on those days when you just have to have soup and a paper plate won’t work. And who doesn’t like to get new underwear? I was at the Catholic Charities Thrift Store yesterday and they had plenty of panties on sale for a quarter. Shoot, for a quarter a day, I’d quit doing laundry! That’s only about 91 bucks a year – you spend more than that on laundry detergent probably.
That’s why I adore Sir Isaac Newton; he was always so thorough in his thought processes.
There. That epiphany should make up for the fact that my blog was very unhelpful to the hapless soul who googled “butt shaped Jello mold” and the dork who wants to know if she should wear a t-shirt under her tube top (I say she because I really don’t want to think that there is a man in this world who doesn’t already know the answer to that question or that there is a man somewhere actually wearing a tube top).
I was checking my email and it occurred to me that I might have a minor problem; perhaps brought on by doing too much housework. I had sent myself an email with notes to Self (that’s me) about blog ideas. Sounds fairly normal, right? There were three replies. Yes, that is right. Not only did I email myself once, but I replied to myself 2 more times!