Remain calm! Please, everyone, remain calm. It will do you no good to panic. I do not want to create mass chaos and anarchy, but I must bring this to your attention. It’s for your own good. No one, not even the upper echelons of government workers in the prosecutor’s office, is immune to this hostile takeover of honkies. That’s right, honkies have taken over Springfield, Missouri. This was brought to my attention by a very concerned co-worker of mine. Please, read the news release in its entirety and then I will give you sound advice on the best way to handle the situation and protect your families.
Man Attacks Prostitute’s Husband After Being Denied Refund
By Brad Belote
Story Created: Sep 2, 2008
Story Updated: Sep 3, 2008
Anthony E. Mello, 27, told police he hired a prostitute Sunday. When he asked for some of his money back after receiving her services, she refused. Mello told police when he tried to take his money back, she called her husband, who was waiting downstairs in a vehicle.
The woman told police that when her husband entered the residence, Mello threw her husband to the floor and punched him in the face at least six times. The woman said Mello pulled her husband by the ankles down a flight of stairs. The woman said she saw her husband’s head hit each step on the way down.
Mello told police he was brought back to the scene by his parents. During an interview with police, Mello said he “blacked out” as the husband was pushing his way past him. Mello admitted to grabbing the man and dragging him down the steps.
Police say the husband suffered severe head trauma and severe bruising.
KSPR called the escort service phone number listed in the Springfield phone book.
A woman who answered the phone says the couple was trying to rip off the customer.
She says the company does not hire any women.
Instead she says the women pay the company a fee for referrals to clients.
The woman says they can not control everything that the women do.
She says the company does not encourage or require women to solicit money for sex.
Springfield police say the same unit that handles organized crime investigates prostitution complaints.
Officer Grant Story says, “We have done numerous stings in the past but we have not received a trend of complaints on these types of businesses.”
Police say if they do receive accurate information they would respond.
Greene County Prosecutor Darrell Moore says the serious assault raises questions about the legitimacy and nature of the escort business.
Moore says the business should be looked into.
My first reaction was anger. Not anger that there is so much crime and violence in this world; but rather anger that Mr. Belote did not share why the heck Mr. and Mrs. Mello returned to the scene of the crime with their son. What kind of crap is that? You can’t just drop a juicy little tidbit like that and then not tell us the role they played! Perhaps Mr. Belote should go back to journalism school. He could have at least shared the conversation between Mello and parents. It has got to be better than what I imagine.
Mello: Mom? Dad? I need your help. I paid an escort to be my friend and now she won’t return my money.
Mello: Of course, I did, Dad! But they have been taken over by evil Bush Administration Operatives and moved to India so I got stuck in automated phone hell for 47 minutes until Akmed came on the line and told me that he would be glad to fill out a rebate appropriations form 1087 but then we were disconnected. What will I do?! I need that fifty bucks to buy cigarettes for my girlfriend!
Mama Mello: Why that little tramp! How dare she cheat my sweet Anthony out of half his welfare check! Doesn’t she know that some people need that money? Natural Light doesn’t grow on trees, you know! And the nerve of her! Working on a Sunday! Doesn’t she know Sunday is the Lord’s day? Just let me get my purse and we’ll go with you to get your money back.Mello: Thanks, Momma Mello. And could you bring a roll of paper towels? Her husband is bleeding all over the place.
Mello: Yes, but he screamed every time his head thumped on a step (you would think his melon could have skipped a step or two for brevity’s sake) and I didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. My arch-nemesis Officer Grant Story was across the street booting an illegally parked Volvo.
Which begs the next question, is this really the first time that Greene County Prosecutor Darrell Moore has called into question the legitimacy and nature of the escort business? Seriously? Does he think that hookers just advertise in the Yellow Pages as hookers and laws be damned!? That the oldest professionals in the world haven’t learned a thing or two about a thing or two?
I hope that young women everywhere will take a lesson from this prostitute and marry a considerate man like she did. How many husbands not only chauffer their wives to work, but also sit outside and wait while she types up her TPS reports? Good men are hard to come by these days.
KSPR was quite clever in looking up the escort service in the phone book and calling them. The escort service does not condone prostitution. Well, thank goodness they cleared that up! I was worried that the madame – I mean executive escort service director – would try to cover up her prostitution ring. Thank you, KSPR for getting to the bottom of that for the good citizens of Springfield; they can rest easy tonight knowing you are on the job! I only hope that this exposure will help other dis-satisfied customers of prostitutes come forward so the police will be able to respond in a reasonable manner. Remember, men, do not lie. If you want your money back, you must be totally upfront with the police so they will be able to investigate your accurate claim.
I can’t handle this kind of stress. I need to go mod-podge a cupcake or something.