When we bought the car seat for our kiddo, it came with a 24 page booklet of warnings and instructions.
The paper shredder at my office came equipped with 6 pages of warnings and instructions. There is even a little picture printed directly onto the machine that shows a baby with an “X” through it. I guess to warn us not to put the baby into the paper shredder. I’m not real sure how a baby would fit into a paper shredder, but there you have it.
My curling iron came with a full page printed front and back. That’s not to mention the 2 warning stickers permanently attached to the cord: “This product can burn eyes.” and “Keep away from water.” My favorite warning is the one on my hair dryer which shows a bathtub with a hair dryer in it and a big “X” through the picture. Wouldn’t it be kind of counterproductive to dry your hair while bathing in the first place? I mean, even without the worry of electrocution, it doesn’t really seem like anyone would think that would be a particulary great way to save time.
My dad swears that the owner’s manual to his Tahoe has 24 pages of how to use the seatbelt. I suspect it’s probably more like 13 pages. But he’s probably the only one in the country who will ever know the real truth about that because I’m pretty sure he’s the only person in the country who actually reads the owner’s manual to his vehicles.
All that leads to this question: If you bought a stun gun, wouldn’t you expect a little booklet of warnings? I mean, I don’t know. I would expect at least a couple of pages full of “!!!! WARNING: DO NOT TEST ON YOURSELF !!!!” So you can imagine how surprised I was today when I got my stun gun in the mail and there was a half a sheet of instructions and only one warning. And that didn’t even pertain to bodily injury, it was about the battery life. “WARNING: Do not test fire the unit for more than 1 second as this will admage [sic] the unit and void its warranty.” Interesting. I guess the manufacturer thinks that those of us who would purchase a pink stun gun are smart enough not to need warnings.
And the manufacturers would be right. But they overlook one minor detail. Those of us who purchase pink stun guns tend to have husbands. Now, if you don’t know anything about men, then you might be surprised to learn that there is apparently some unavoidable natural pull in them that makes them have this huge desire to stun themselves. Meat Galore is sitting in the living room as we speak just waiting for it to be 2:38 AM so he can unplug my little pink stun gun and test it. (The instructions say that it has to charge for 12 hours.) Well, whatever, I guess I’ll get up at 2:19 and go out to heat up the truck. There’s nothing worse than driving to the emergency room in a cold truck in the middle of the night.
Because there are those of you who will be incredulous to the fact that there was only one warning and only 3 steps in the usage instructions, I am posting a picture of the one and only page that came with my little pink stun gun. Also, a picture of my little pink stun gun – just because I think it’s super cool.
I’ll let you all know how Meat Galore’s little test works out. ZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.