You know how sometimes you get an overwhelming urge to get a pet monkey? For me, it’s usually concurrent with other PMS symptoms like irritibility and an unquenchable craving for fried chicken covered in Hershey’s syrup. Anyway, there’s good news. I found the answer and all you need is water! The Dollar Tree has these little monkey things that you can put in water and grow into a monkey! When you’re tired of your monkey, you simply let him dry out and he shrinks back up into a manageable size. You can do this over and over and over. I call it “monkeying around”.
There’s even better news than that for some of you! Dollar Tree also carries Grow a Boyfriend!
I wish they had a Grow Your Own Rabid Squirrel. There are times when I just know that a rabid squirrel would come in really handy. Like when there’s an annoying woman blocking the Walmart aisle while she yaps on her cellular phone. I could just pop my handy dandy Grow Your Own Rabid Squirrel into my water bottle and unleash the fury of a rabid squirrel on her! Wouldn’t that be awesome?