Everyone has a creepy doll story. I mean everyone. And, to be honest, can you blame us all? There’s something about some of these dolls that just makes you think they are going to jump up in the night and strangle you.
This little Satanic Puppy Killing Boy Child looks like he could be perfectly capable of that:
Those eyes are totally deranged. He should come with a warning label “Don’t Leave in Child’s Bedroom.”
And what girl wouldn’t like a ghostly apparition frozen in perpetual terror?
Since I am the whitest woman in America, I don’t think I’m allowed to say too much about this one. So I’ll just let her speak for herself.
Okay, I can’t help it. “Come hither, my pretty. Cackle cackle cackle.”
And this one is just flat out spooky.
However, as disturbing as those all are, they cannot compare to what I stumbled upon in my dad’s garage this week. Warning: while the following is in no way gory, it may be disturbing to some viewers.
He’s quite proud of that 1851 Colt revolver. At least this mannequin has arms. The last one didn’t. She was a former Virgin Mary model for the Nativity at church, but her arms mysteriously disappeared. Anyway Gussie (that’s what I call this Pistol Packin’ Mama) scares the hell out of everyone in the family. My daughter spied her and ran away screaming in sheer unmitigated terror. My 23 year old sister nearly refuses to go out to the garage. Personally, I think she should become the masthead for his boat.
My point is, that all you people talking about how your grandmothers’ doll collections freaked you out as a child should walk a mile in my shoes. I’d tell you to walk a mile in Gussie’s shoes, but she doesn’t have any. I don’t know what would worry me more; if he continued to leave her naked except for the revolver, or if he started dressing her up in frilly Victorian dresses …