How’s that for a lame post title?
I apologize for my absence. It began innocently enough as pure laziness. Then morphed into blogger’s block. Proceeded by a couple commenters who wanted me to say something funny so I got all worried that I wouldn’t be able to say anything funny. Which is not unfounded because I am not, by nature, a funny person. It’s true. I crack up after I explain my own jokes.
And I also laugh at nerd jokes.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
What can I say? True genius is rarely recognized in its own lifetime.
Anyway … we had the bank from hell. I have since learned that they are crooks. Literal crooks. We had already opened accounts at a different bank because the crooks had gotten taken over by the FDIC. But the old account was still open because our health insurance company takes forever and a day to process a change of payment. Today, Meat Galore and I went to withdraw our One Dollar and Ninety Two Cents from the old account. As we were leaving, we pulled around the back of the bank (because that is how you exit the parking lot – not because we were looking for somewhere to neck or anything because that would be absurd) where we saw several bank employees carrying bags of money out of the bank on dollies. They were then depositing said bags of money into a plain old Chevy Tahoe.
It wasn’t even an armored Chevy Tahoe. No wonder the freaking FDIC got nervous.
Then, on the way home, that song that Kid Rock and Sheryl Crowe sing (I think it’s called “Picture” or something equally inventive) was playing. Our local radio station bleeps out the word “cocaine”. I was thinking how lucky I am that they do that for me. Otherwise, I might be driving down the road minding my own business when I would suddenly hear Kid Rock say cocaine and then I’d think, “Self, you should really procure some cocaine. And then use it.” Then I would have to find out how to buy cocaine. (I’m guessing you just can’t go up to random people in town and ask them if they will sell you some cocaine.) Also, I would have to learn how to use it. Therefore, I am very thankful that our radio station is thoughtful enough to censor the word cocaine. If only the internet people would be so thoughtful regarding midget porn.