Can you hear that faint crying sound? It’s my poor blog crying, “Pay attention to me!” I know. I’m bad. It has been 2 weeks since I blessed my faithful readers with words from Mary. But so much has happened to me lately … Okay, not really. I just had a case of writer’s block mixed with a mild case of lazies. Well maybe not “lazies” so much as “worn out from chasing a 20 month old.”
At any rate, I thought you all might get a kick out of my new action figures. I’ve been to 2 Dollar Trees and both were sold out of Jesus. Sigh. But I got Noah and Moses. I’d like to know how Noah’s ears got so big! Gee whiz, he could probably have gotten the Ark airborne with those things! Moses looks like Charlton Heston.
Okay, those are cute. What really cracks me up is the back of the package. The age warning looks more like they don’t want sad babies playing with their toys.
Then there’s the whole offering of parenting advice without first proofreading it.
Okay, not my funniest find. But it’s all I got!
My faithful readers will remember that, not too long ago, I caught my neighbor bringing his dog over to poop in my yard. Well, today, I caught his shack up honey throwing eggs into my yard in approximately the same area where they were taking the dog to poop. When I walked back there to confront Ms. Rotten Crotch, she saw me, her eyes got huge, and she sprinted into the house. So I went over, knocked on her door, and we had a chat. I won’t get into all the details, but the dumbest thing she said was, “I don’t see what the big deal is, you don’t mow back there.” First of all, she was throwing them at my tree and, no, I don’t mow the tree. But I mow around the tree. However, that is beside the point. I told her, “It’s my yard, I don’t have to mow there if I don’t want to. It doesn’t mean you can throw your garbage back there.” Although it might have been peppered with words that didn’t make it sound as calm and saintly as it did just now when I typed it out. Apparently, the eggs were expired and she needed to get rid of them. ?? Apparently, the rot has reached her brain and it didn’t occur to her to throw them away. Or put them down the garbage disposer. Nonetheless … I’m sure there will be more little neighbor to neighbor chats to come.
P.S. If you are thinking, “That Mary. What a fertile imagination she has. Surely, there is no one lunatic enough to be throwing random garbage into peoples’ yards, I have a witness this time. My mother. And she’s a member of the clergy so she’s probably more credible than even I am. Although my imagination isn’t fertile enough to make this up either.