One of my favorite things to do is check out what people google to find my blog. Apparently, Google thinks I’m far more interesting than I actually am. So, without further ado, I bring you some of my recent favorite Google Searches That Bring You To Mary’s Blog!
That’s just gross. Who the heck wants bacon Jello?! Oh wait. It’s been done.
(Picture is from my New Joys of Jello Cookbook.)
People That Look Like Monkeys:
I’m not gonna go there. Except to say that, when referring to people, you should use “who”, not “that”. People are whos, not thats. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Toddler Ate Banana Peel:
Do her parents look like monkeys? Because that would explain a lot. But, even if they don’t, she’ll be okay. Trust me. My kid is living proof of that. Does she look any worse for having eaten banana peels?
Mini Implant Supercenter:
I have 3 words. What the hell?
Very Deep Thoughts:
You, my friend, have come to the right place. I have deep thoughts all the time. Well, maybe not all the time. For instance, I can’t think of any right now … Maybe you haven’t come to the right place after all.
I will have you know, I embody the epitome of taste and appropriateness. Therefore, I cannot tell you anything that is inappropriate. However, I will say this, Pickle Bandages are always an appropriate gift. Hostesses love them. As do grandparents and teenagers alike.
How To Make Assless Chaps:
First of all, quit calling them “assless chaps”. It’s redundant. Chaps have no ass. That’s what makes them chaps and not pants. Since about 12 people a day google this and are directed to my blog, I would like to be helpful. To make assless chaps, take a pair of blue jeans or leather pants and a good pair of scissors. Lay the pants back side up on a large table or your floor. Now cut the seat out of them. Voila! Chaps!