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Archive for January, 2011

Oh, yes, it’s another altered canvas.  You know how I love making them!  This one is for my bedroom.  (*Please note: this is not to be construed as an open invitation to all my blog readers.)

It’s 8×10.  I made the heart banner with a paper punch, bakers’ twine, and some scrap paper.  The lettering is just regular Scrabble tiles.

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This was in my local Penny Saver this week.  Apparently, you can learn about the Book of Morman (or maybe the Mook of Morman?) on January 26.  But possibly on January 16.  Either way, it should be interesting to see what the Oillars are all about.

(Does anyone have a clue what “Sevently” is really supposed to be?  I’m intrigued.)

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I have been saving this picture since I took it at a local convenience store this past summer.  I don’t know why.  Maybe I was just waiting for the perfect time?  Or the perfect punchline?  I don’t know.

I do know one thing though.  I’m pretty sure Mennonites don’t need gas for their horses.  I’m also pretty sure they don’t drink.  Okay that was 2 things.  And I don’t really “know” them so much as I “suspect” them.  I really don’t understand this sign at all.

Wait just a cotton picking minute.  That’s not a Mennonite carriage.  That’s a Conestoga wagon.  Now it makes perfect sense!  Oh wait.  No it doesn’t.

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Somehow, I have become the go-to expert on how normal 13 year old boys should act.  I know this because the Google search term “how should a normal 13 year old boy act” brings roughly 5 people a week to my blog.

I’ve never actually been a 13 year old boy, and I don’t actually have a 13 year old son, but I shall attempt to live up to my reputation as an expert on the matter.

Extensive research (involving Google searches of “how should a normal 13 year old boy act”) indicate that a normal 13 year old boy should fart a lot.  Also, do goofy things like stick pencils up his nose.

They generally do not like to bathe.  However, if you notice a 13 year old boy taking long showers, it is advisable not to intrude.

I can tell you from my vast experience in health care (consisting of doing all I could to avoid taking Biology in high school) that they eat a lot.  A lot a lot.  That is because they are “growing” (to use the technical term for it).

Well, there you have it.  All I know about 13 year old boys.  I hope that helps.

And don’t forget to tune in next time when I explain all about “bacon Jello.”  Until then, I will be conducting further extensive research on bacon Jello – because that is what the people want.

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Happy New Year!

Well, I have crawled out from under my glitter hangover (or maybe it was the flu) to blog again.  Rejoice!

I have been wanting to share the story of this Don Juan from St. Joseph, MO.

ST. JOSEPH, Mo. — A northwest Missouri home was declared a total loss after a fire blamed on a cigarette and a lawnmower.

 Fire investigators in St. Joseph said a man was smoking a cigarette while working on his lawnmower Monday in a bedroom of the home. TV station KQTV reports the combination sparked a fire that heavily damaged the house and sent the man to the hospital.

His injuries were not considered life-threatening. A woman who was also home at the time was unhurt.

Copyright 2010 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

http://www.kmbc.com/news/26040268/detail.html

Why did I call him Don Juan?  Well, it’s possible that I have Don Juan and Don Quixote mixed up.  But I’m pretty sure I mean Don Juan.  Anyway, the one who gets all the chicks.  Because you know what they say about men who work on their lawnmowers in the bedroom, don’t you?

THEY GET ALL THE CHICKS!

 

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