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Archive for February, 2010

This is what I had for dinner tonight.  It’s Chicken Stuffed with Shrimp Etouffee.*

(This is a photo from the chicken website.  I wish I had those green dishes!)

Doesn’t it look delicious?  I will say this – it totally was.  I bought it from my local Future Farmers of America for a fundraiser back in November.  When I cut into it though, I felt like this woman (remember her?):

Except I was hollering, “Where’s the shrimp?!”  That isn’t the disturbing part though.  I only told you that part so I could bring up the little old lady from the Wendy’s commercials.  And because I like to keep you on your toes.

The disturbing part was the chicken itself.  It was entirely boneless … except for the wings!  It was like a humongous boneless chicken breast with 2 random wings stuck on it.  Almost like prosthetics for chickens.  If you’re going to go to the trouble to remove all those bones, why not remove all the bones?!  Yick.  How do you think that development meeting went?

Guy A:  I have this awesome idea for boneless chicken breast stuffed with shrimp etouffee.  But I just feel like it’s missing something.

Guy B:  I know!  We have some extra wings lying around that Hooters refused shipment on.  Let’s stick them onto your gourmet chicken!

Guy A:  Yes, let’s!  That is the most brilliant idea I have ever heard!

*I don’t want to give the name of the manufacturer since I’m making fun of the chicken even though it really was delicious and I don’t want people to think badly of the company.

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Time Warp.

The Holiday Inn Express has always driven me crazy.  Don’t get me wrong, I have never had anything but good experiences at Holiday Inn Expresses.  What drives me crazy is the name.  Do you sleep faster there?  Do they check you in faster?  If they can check you in faster, then why don’t they just have all the Holiday Inns check you in faster.  Do they think some people like to take a long time to check in?

Anyway, I hadn’t been thinking about Holiday Inn Express all that much until tonight when we passed a YMCA Express.  What the heck?  Does time warp so that a 30 minute workout only lasts 10?  Because, to be quite honest with you, I could totally get into a 10 minute workout that had all the benefits of a 30 minute workout.

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I’m sure you are shocked – shocked – that I haven’t had anything to say in well over 2 weeks.  But the truth is, I have had lots to say.  I just couldn’t say it!  First my hard drive conked out on me.  (The guy at Geek Squad had a more technical sounding name for it, but I can’t remember what it was.)  Then I went to East Texas for a week.  My hard drive is fixed but I’m still missing all my drivers and can’t upload pictures or anything.

In the time I’ve been without internet, I have watched hours on end of our new ABRVA channel on Dish Network.  24 hours a day, 7 days a week they play this awesome show called “Cold Sore Stories” where people talk about how they got their cold sores and what it’s like to live with them.  (I am not making this up.)  It’s quite fascinating.  No, really, it is.  It’s even better than Maury Povich and Jerry Springer combined.  Except you don’t get to see honky fights.

In the interest of maintaining some sense of decorum around here, I can’t tell you what I was Googling when I came across this, but I’m certainly glad I found them.  I’ve never tasted them but they are still my new favorite candy.  Seriously, how could something called “Squirrel Nut Zippers” not be your favorite candy?!

The only thing that could be better would be if they had Possum Trot Sorghum Candy.

I don’t really care for sorghum candy, I just like to say Possum Trot.

Which reminds me of a recent trip to the grocery store.  There was a woman about my age pushing her 2 sons in a car cart.  The boys appeared to be about 6 or 7 years old and spent their time doing pretty favorable imitations of donkeys.  Hee-haw.  Hee-haw.  (Ever how loud you are imagining that in your head, multiply it by 10 decibles.)  She was with another woman who appeared to be her mother.  The mother was pushing an older man in a motorized cart.  I have no idea why she was pushing a motorized cart.  But that’s not really important to the story (and this is a very important story, trust me).  The whole crew stopped in front of the butter.  The mother pointed to the butter and said, “What butter do you want?”  The old man said, “Huh?”  The woman said, “What butter do you want?”  “Hee-haw  hee-haw.”  The old man said, “What?”  Then the woman yelled loud enough to be heard over the boys-come-donkeys, “WHAT BUTTER DO YOU WANT?!”  And the old man finally gave her the answer she wanted.  He said, “Butter.”  Hee-haw.

So then I kept randomly cracking up while I was doing my grocery shopping.  I told you that was an important story.

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