I think I’ve mentioned before how I feel like I would have loved living in the 1950’s when everything was good for you and nothing would harm you. Except the Russians and Sputnik, things like that. But no American made product would ever bring you to any harm.
From 7-Up (and Coke Classic) for babies …
To beer to help nursing moms beat the baby blues and nourish their child with healthy nourishing essential hops …
Even Santa got in on the act. Somehow, he drove that sleigh and landed on all those roofs without ever even having to take the cigarette out of his mouth. And he never fell asleep and set anyone’s house on fire. Look how jolly he looks!
Lucky for Santa, the manufacturers of Camel and Prince Albert had tobacco products for all your Christmas gift-giving needs. A can of snuff for Grandma and a huge ass box of smokes for your honey. (Nothin’ says lovin’ like a huge ass box of smokes.)
Shoot. It was even safe to buy your wife a vacuum cleaner for Christmas! The world is a different place now and I’m pretty sure the World Health Organization and most consumer safety groups advise against that.
You could even have a revolver in the house when you gave your wife such a gift and it was still safe!
And why not matching bb guns for the whole family? You could shoot at each other and then Mom could vacuum up all the bb’s (made of lead, of course, because it’s good for you) with her brand new Hoover!
Okay, so I can’t really say anything about the matching bb guns since I seriously considered matching his and hers NRA memberships for our anniversary, but was told that would be way too mushy; so I only bought one.
Merry Christmas!
Mi Vida Azar 